Just so merciful.

Today was one of those yucky nothing-went-the-way-it-was-supposed-to-and-I'm-pretty-sure-it-was-all-my-fault-days. Yes. Pretty bad. But you know what? Even though I'm dead tired and overwhelmed, it doesn't change the fact that

every one of these things is true:

Daniel will wake me up in the morning with a sweet and silly smile. *sigh* Always does.

We have yummy cinnamon rolls.

I'm pretty confident I did well on my finals, and I am officially on break until January 9th.

*EEP*

We're living in a house that doesn't need any renovations done to it. (And these people don't even know how much they're blessing us. It's unfathomable.)

I have friends who don't mind being spontaneous! Or sharing their M&M's and secrets...

Kyle is my official laugh-out-loud, love-him-so-much dance partner.

We have a dishwasher.

My jeans are the perfect length.

I still remember the songs Daddy used to sing me to sleep with.

In a couple of days, we'll be spreading the holiday cheer down in Alabama.

Mommy's made me into a crazy bargain hunting machine. Not ashamed!

Elise loves wrapping Christmas presents, even more than I do.

I laugh out of the blue, when I remember good memories.

-and-

God loves me enough to give me this list. And that's just so merciful, because I certainly don't deserve it. Thank you, Lord.

Goodbye, fall.

Thanks for the chilly, fresh mornings. Thanks for the crunchy leaves and the yummy smells. . .

Thank you for the smiles!

The sweet, little faces . . .

and the swings.

I'll see you next year. . .

Here's to hoping winter holds just as much fun.

It's ridiculous how late this is....

but at least try and forgive me.

Back in September, Daniel turned 5 and Daddy turned 50. (Kyle also turned 15, earlier in the year. See a slight pattern, hmm?)

{Look at that sweet, little face!}

It wouldn't be hard, at all, for me to let my heart ache at the fact that Daniel's not a baby, anymore. I can look through the pictures we have, and I can wish it hadn't have gone by so fast. But instead of having an overwhelming sense of gratitude towards God, in my heart, I'd just have yearning and sadness. And yearning and sadness leave me feeling pretty broken. So, instead, I'll treasure the memories of the past five wonderful years, and I'll "...thank God upon every remembrance..." of Daniel. (Phil. 1:3)

And one of the things I love, love, love about Daniel is his soft heart. He really is kind. Especially towards his momma and sisters. He's so willing and eager to help, whether it's with groceries, opening a door, or working with Daddy and Kyle. He's also very easily convicted. When he does something wrong, he really does feel bad. And I'm just so glad God blessed him with a repenting heart!

I pray your heart is always turned towards God, Daniel. I pray you become a man the Lord will call His good and faithful servant. I love you the world.

***

Daddy turned 50...!! I happen to think that's really cool. To be able to say that you've experienced God's goodness, life's trials, persecution, and blessings for fifty years? How anyone could look at that and think anything other than "How great is our God!" is beyond me.

Another thing that's beyond me is how Daddy can be so strong for all of us. He would tell you that any strength in him comes from God and His mercy alone. He would also tell you that he trusts the Lord. He believes in God's sovereignty. Whole-heartedly. Something I admire about Daddy is that, through this whole trial, he's never shown us that he's worried about whether or not God will provide. He's always been proactive, searching for what God would have for us, but he completely believes that we're in the Lord's hands. Our situation isn't unknown to God. We cry out to Him, He hears us, and He answers. In His mercy, He answers. And so often His answers are above and beyond what we had hoped for.

So, thank you, Daddy. Thank you for being the head of our home. Thank you for leading us. Thank you, thank you for trusting God. Thank you for raising us up in the way we should go. I pray that we'll never depart from it. (Prov. 22:6)

I love you oh-so much.

A phone call that reminded me...

Do you wanna know what I'm thankful for?

I'm thankful for a Grandma who rescues her granddaughter from a potentially angry mob, by giving her the details to her recipe for amazing jell-o salad, because we have to have it every Thanksgiving Day, even if the recipe box is packed away.

Do you wanna know what else I'm thankful for?

I'm thankful for a Grandma who listens to her granddaughter's confessions of silly worries and insecurities, then tells her that she understands and that she believes she can keep pushing forward, through it all.

I love you, Grandma. So, so, so.

As of Recently

I have never wanted to live in town. Not since we moved out to the country, anyway. The thought never appealed to me! I would love to go into town for some fun shopping, eating out, or other special occasion, but I always loved going home. Yes, all the way out to where we lived, out to the dirt roads and fenced acres. It was just home. And the stars always shone brighter the farther away from city lights you were. You would look up and just breathe in God's goodness.

Yet, when the next plan was for us to move into some friend's rental in town, I didn't even give it a second thought. Maybe I was just used to uncertainty and glad for a definite answer. Maybe I'm becoming more pick-up-and-ploppable. But I know that God must have just softened my heart in advance. That He used His grace to make it easier for me (the one who whined about town, remember) just floors me. He is so long-suffering!

And coming here, to this house, to this neighborhood, all of the joys are presenting themselves. I'm so glad we're here in the autumn! Do you know, there are trees here? Like, real trees! Not just pine trees, but deciduous trees! They have leaves! And... they turn colors and fall off.

{We interrupt this program for a happy, happy dance dedicated to crispy leaves made for crunching through}

Seriously. I can walk down the block and come back, all for the purpose of shuffling my feet through the leaves. With a camera, of course... and any siblings who appreciate the joy of skipping down the sidewalk, making leaves fly, and people stare.

Because we're in a significantly smaller house than before, and we're sort of "living out of our suitcases," I see how my picture of what we needed was totally wrong. Not that I wouldn't like, put furniture in the family room (it's all in storage) or want a dishwasher (none), but I see how much more stuff I thought was necessary that was, actually, just the sprinkles on top. And having none of the sprinkles on top doesn't totally deprive you of sanity or happiness. You just think it does. At first. Having the right perspective and attitude are what keep you sane and happy. Not to say I have either of those all the time, but God, in His mercy, has let me look at things the right way, through a lot of this. It's only His mercy that allows that. Relying on my strength would have me rocking back and forth in the corner. Seriously!

What amazes me, though, is not only that God would provide, but that He would provide with something we liked. To bless you with something you truly needed, and to have that something make your heart smile, too?

Great is our Lord, and mighty in power; His understanding is infinite.

Psalm 147:5

Ready/Set/Go

He stuck the landing, by the way.

When in doubt...

{be goofy.}