Valentine's Day was last week, and I don't think I realized that I thought about it a lot differently than a lot of the world. Even differently than a lot of my friends. (i don't want to belittle what they felt. just writing on how what i feel is different.) Valentine's Day would come and I would never even think about my maybe someday someone. It just didn't come to mind. I looked at it as a time to celebrate the fact the we even get to love! And I would direct those thoughts towards the people that took up all the space in my heart. As childish or simple as it seems, cutting and pasting and creating a red, paper, heart valentine for someone I loved was important to me. Making sure to get Daddy his favorite Crunch candy, because I knew he'd never buy it for himself, was important to me. I think it's important to me, because I grew up doing it. I grew up with that day being special. But it was never a day to gush over a silly crush or sigh, because I didn't have one. It wasn't a date to think about having a significant other. I mean, of course Daddy would buy Momma a card and some roses, and he'd hold her a little longer when he got back from work... But to me, that was the love I was celebrating, too! The love we shared as a family. I knew Daddy loved Momma, and I knew he loved us.
So, when Valentine's Day came, it reminded me... I'm really not lonely. I'm not scared that I won't get married or be loved. If God wants me to have that spectacular guy, I don't doubt He'll send him. What I am scared of, though, is arriving at my someday and realizing I spent all of the years before dreaming about it, rather than rejoicing in the goodness God had sent... rejoicing that I had everything I loved! A lot can pass you by when all you're thinking about is the future. It may just be because I have an awesome family... but I really love where I am. =) Like, really. I'm not real anxious to anticipate 5 years later, because I have so many reasons to want to stay here! God's love towards our family abounds everywhere. Plus, I remember 5 years ago so clearly. I was so excited to be 17, someday. It seemed like such a cool age. I mean, that's how old all the cool kids were. And now. I'm seventeen. That someday is here. And I'm gonna just pick another day to start wishing for? Mmm, no. I'm going to strive to honor God with seventeen. Which requires me staying in seventeen and concentrating on seventeen. While gaining a generational vision. =) God makes each stage of life with so much potential for joy and learning. But I don't want to be taken by surprise and feel that horrible pang of regret, because I didn't see what God was doing in my life then. Plus (huge thing for me, really), I love watching my family grow. When I'm at the end of my life, I want to have countless beloved memories with the people I loved most. That would mean I invest in them now, so I can have those treasures later.
God is good.
And the future will be beautiful.
But so is the now.
